Sometimes I wish I had some money to buy a house now that they're so cheap. It would be a huge responsibility but I've always wanted to be able and have my own space. With my own decorating and my own backyard to have family get together's at.
I wish I could find a school to go to for my career. Most of them are all out of state or they are on the other side of the city. Maybe the drive won't be so bad.
In about 2 weeks or so I'll be back in the hospital. Maybe it's a good thing for me mentally. It's a countdown till I get to finally hold Ava who is the toughest little girl I know. Sometimes I wonder why me? Why did I have to go through all this? Why do I have to have all the complications when other people who could careless about their kids have so many? I would kill to be able to hold Trey alive and see him smile. Watch as he can grow with Ava and learn the things she's going to learn. I believe in things happen for a reason, but I still haven't figured out the reason.
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I think everything happens for a reason too, I just wish life wasn't so unfair sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel like you've handled all of this the best way anyone possibly could. lil Ava is so lucky to have you as her mommy :) Stay strong, Hopefully i'll see ya soon! love ya, xoxoxo